Happiness is overrated right?

I've been kind of in this blissful mood lately. Like i'm generally really happy. Things seem to be going well in all aspects of my life I suppose. Work is going good im starting to phase back into my normal position. Family life is good, relationships with my friends are good, minus my moods at times but that get resolved quickly usually. My ability to express myself is getting a lot better now rather than bottling it in. I'm starting to let new people in and enjoy affection from someone.

This last year, well since dating that bad egg i've not expected to be happy. Or if i had been happy i kind of expected it to then lead to something negative. Because nothing good ever happens to me. If i get a tiny bit of good, it's usually followed by a shit tonne of bad. It's been like that for so long I kind of expect it and dont think i deserve anything else. Thinking you don't deserve to be happy because of others actions and the way you were treated in the past is a hard pillow to take and tell yourself “no you do deserve to be happy, big ways or small you do”

Ive punished myself for so long, from the past abuse to relationships to drugs and alcohol that actually just being happy feels alien to me. I've told myself I don't deserve love of any kind, friends, family, partners. Silly because we all deserve love. We deserve love, we deserve self love.

This year ive hated myself, grown to hate myself more because of my mental health. It's really only been the last few months i've actually stopped. I've started loving myself again for who I am. Warts and all. It's taken a hell of a long time, and a hell of me getting to really know who I am to accept that. I have finally realised that even with having personality disorder im still me. There's just added quirks, added things that are here now. But get to know me without the labels and really you'll see who I am.

I love deep and strong, my loyalty will be there if you are loved. I love me and I am loyal to my happiness and my soul.

Happiness isn’t overrated but once you find it in yourself, the possibilities are endless

The future has so many possibilities, and paths I'm just now finding them and seeing where my next adventure takes me….

These opinions are of my own and are in no way directed at anyone. These scenarios are used for learning purposes only