My love is pure, my love is true. The truth about relationships

I've always been a firm believer in what you put into any relationship you will get back. Over the years and with several different types of relationships I have finally realised this isn't the case. The other person picks and chooses their choices and their actions and the amount they want to put into the relationship. Any relationships takes two people to make it work, this goes with friendships, lovers, family anybody, even being on the phone to virgin when you've lost internet connection. The problem won't be solved unless both parties are present and willing to sort it.

Although I am a proud wallflower and really do enjoy my own company, I do have a small circle of friends in my life who I class as family, and my friends know I'd do anything for them. Over the years I've given my loyalty to the wrong people. Iv'e formed close bonds with people for them to then end friendships and use our deepest darkest conversations against our relationship. Now this isn't a rare thing to happen so many people have had this done to them, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt us. We do have feelings and emotions. We do feel betrayed.

There came a time in my life where I lost a lot of people I classed as friends. We had been friends for over 4 years and had been through breakups, moving houses, marriages, children and holidays together . This all changed very quickly and drastically. We all had significant others in our lives, but this changed for me. I became single after a very painful and messy break up, to the point i became more of my wonderful hermit self. I sat down and spoke to all of my friends about my issues and problems and told them that I had depression and things were extremely hard for me. None of them knew what to say, nor were they willing to be supportive. Quickly after I told them this one piece of information, that took so much courage to tell them they abandoned me. They no longer wanted to be friends, no longer answered my texts and soon deleted me on social media. It was crazy these people i had shared so many experiences with no longer wanted to be friends because of my mental health, and that i didn't fit into their group criteria anymore. I had no kids and now i had no fiance, I didn't fit. I was being judged for something i had no control over, and a lot of people suffering with mental health issues suffer this on a daily basis. Being judged for something, would I judge you if you had asthma or nail fungus....No. So we shouldn't judge anyone with whatever issues/ problems they may have.

Friendships aren't what someone can do for you,what you can gain from it. Friendships are something to nurture and develop, something to blossom. I spent a long time keeping my mental health issues away from friends and others because i would be judged and eventually lose people. It's only been recently that i have such an amazing close circle of friends that i trust with this. These wonderful people have been nothing but supportive.

I feel as you get older, the more time you spend being a wallflower and really getting to understand and know yourself, you know what people you want in your life, you know who is really pure and true. You can give people that love without doubt, without fear of loss. The way others have treated us can have an effect on us and how we react to things, and it can change our personality. But this should never be permanent, we can heal, we can love ourselves again and begin to start loving others once more. Life is about healing and loving yourself, understanding not everyone has the same heart as you but that shouldn't make you change yours.

Not everyone can be pure, not everyone can be true. As long as we don't change ourselves for others and be true to ourselves we will always be happy.

Knowing you are a good person and loyal, and take a deep breath and smile and see that beautiful aura around yourself...love all that is you

Disclaimer; these opinions are of my own and in no way represent others or individuals. These scenarios are used to help and inform others of abuse and mental health and self help. They are no way directed at individuals. Ren