Privacy, prerogative my life;my choices

“People can take everything away from you, but they can never take away your truth. But the question is can you handle mine? They say I’m crazy….I really don't care. That's my prerogative”- Britney Spears

When I first decided to write a blog I did have to really think about it. Did I really want to tell my story to random strangers? Or did i want people to talk about me? Did i really want to bare all my secrets that I had held so close to me? After a few days of thinking the answer is yes, of course I do and of course I should…

I told my friends and family and they all thought it was a really good idea, and they believed it would help me with my mental health. I mean look at me now it really has helped. I wrote a piece sometime ago of my sexual abuse when I was younger. Now i hadn’t actually told my family about this till i decided to write the blog, so I told them before I shared it.

My mum said to me “ why would you want everyone to read it? Why wouldn’t you just write a diary?” now this was kind words, not her being horrible. And I said to her “why not? I've kept these things quiet for so long because I was ashamed and protecting others, and i deserve some peace. If I can help just one person so they don't feel alone then my soul feels good”. After saying this to her, she realised and she reads my blogs and is happy with the progress I am making.

My blog and my privacy became a topic again recently. I was asked why would I do this when I’m quite a private person, why would i just put it all out there, have people talk about me, have people read what’s going on in my life… Well exactly that. It’s my life, my choices, my prerogative. In all honesty I’ve been through a lot of shit and if writing a blog is an outlook for what's going on in my mind, rather than lashing out on myself, feeling suicidal, feeling alone and attacked I think I know which option not only I would choose. We've all got to find an outlook for ourselves to deal with the things that bother us, that really weigh on our hearts and souls...In all honestly, it's the only way we're gonna survive this world. No one else can make us survive it other than ourselves. So do whatever makes you feel good/strong and f*ck what anyone else thinks or says..

We all know those people who have to be involved in people's business, or be “preeying” because they need to know what someone's doing, or who they're talking to. They've just got to know, and will go to lengths to find out, and or to gossip. Now i suffered a lot of that in my previous blogs, i spoke about what was said about me when I first started my new job, and how it really weighed on me. Mainly the fact people were calling me a slut regardless of facts. So after being pushed and pushed, i thought fuck it! Let me take control of my life, take control of what these people are saying about me, thinking, spying or having a bitchfest about. I finally got sick of people gossiping about me, why let people say things about me when I can just put it all on this blog for them to read.

To me this was taking control of the situation, I’d rather I tell my story then have some pagan tell my story to what suits them. My privacy is mine to dish out how i please, not for others to dictate and manipulate to what suits them.

So if you want to start a blog do it, if you want to do a podcast do it, if you want to make videos/memes do it. If you want to make a giggle out of the things you've been through then my god captain do it!! We all need that release.. Take care of the things that have always bothered you and face them. Once you face your own demons, and the one’s people think they can make you look weak, it won't be a thing. Ain’t nothin but a thing baby!

Own your privacy, show what you want, preach what you want to preach. Let whoever you want in, share your experiences, you are not alone and never will be. If you want to share your truth, your hurt, your fun, your laughter or tears then share away.

The world wasn't built on people hiding behind closed doors, the world does not function without a voice, you were given the freedom to express yourself, no matter what route you go down… why because it's your prerogative

Be your individual you, life your life how you please..be strong and confident in your choices. Your life is your's to make and to live with...just a little shout out to my best friend Nathan your'e and amazing person don't let anyone else tell you otherwise

P.s I was totally listening/singing to #Britneyspears song #prerogative when i was writing this haha. So #preachbritney

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Disclaimer; these opinions are of my own and in no way represent others or individuals. These scenarios are used to help and inform others of abuse and mental health and self help. They are no way directed at individuals. Ren